Nothing

beneath a thought
within my sight
under a touch
are things untaught.

i trace a sound 
to where its found
absent time. 

nothing lost
nothing gained 
nothing’s all that remain

nothing is now
nothing was then
nothing’s all i can ever win.

all i sought 
was for naught
no matter how i strained
in the void
i destroyed
all i contained.

The writer, the poet, the ponderer, scour the ether through cycles of time and arrive at nothing – a wonder so wonderful wrong words are written in wisdom searching for reason. He who finds nothing to write about is commonly no different than he who has nothing to say. Banning intellect and sloth, the reason may suggest perception, at least, within the subconscious — of a more unified implicate order within perceived arrangement. If you’ve written about anything, you’ve riddled everything. The default phenomena of reality is the institution of all reality and leaves nothing to craft. Language’s inadequacy to express feeling is barely sufficient to untangle pain and joy, its application to anything beyond that, reduce or amplify us to sound and symbol – and unless you’re performing on someone’s stage, making high pitch sounds and clicks, could have you evaluated for a padded cell. So, you just learn to keep your mouth closed. If life is experience, maybe it wasn’t meant to have so many vowels and consonants, I mean hell, listen to a tree. What kind of experience is she having? Monks and Hermits figured this out a thousand years ago. Existence may be the greatest recipe for life, how do you pen that? Language, like everything else, is no less a toy than it is a tool. Sometimes smart people try to separate them to make themselves feel better about playing with toys but simple folk know it’s all the same. So they just keep quiet and try to have fun with life. Separation is the paradox of pain and pleasure.

The farther we drift from tonal language the less chance we may have of capturing the meaning of anything with sound. Language condensed to a form of expression is much broader and simpler than our daily use of it, just sit amongst the birds at dawn or dusk; each responds to it own, amidst the indistinguishable tones. what sound does vibration make, and with what does it resonate? Ahh and ouch is the feeling expressing itself, rather than the descriptive joyful and painful. This is the gift and bliss of sound, when it becomes the recipient of emotion and feeling; but what’s beyond that? Language like knowledge is restricted in all of its outward manifestations. Conceptual thought is independent of both sound and symbol.

Twenty-five years ago I would frequently play the sound bowls through out my home. Language has no symbol to accurately translate the reverberated tones I heard, or the impulse it sometimes prompted. Its meaning is frozen in interpretation. Which returns us to silence, or at least simplicity. Om may be the closest symbol we’ll ever see represent a sound, or sound represent nothing, yet it contains all. It seems sound baths have resurfaced as a means of reconnecting back to something more primal and expansive than words, something nothing can define, no sound, no symbol – Nothing, is the one thing I’ve been trying to understand. After this reading, some may feel I’ve succeeded (lol).

Check out the album, Where There Are Dreams There are Dragons Vol 1 by A Thousand … using tones, scat and chants in place of words. Its a wonderful example. I think you’ll dig it.

by K. Osei

Flora De Pato

I met God in the jungle.

High in the mountain, deep in the ground, where thermal waters emanate. A euphoric, inharmonious symphony of sound compete for dawn’s first light. Her form and color were magnificent – royal purple.

A village of cherubim,

where many travelers leave their pain with santamaria.

No luxury’s but no locks!

I felt her presence, indeed her power, in the soursop leaf, the tamarind, and the burdock. 

On the fourth day she came to me and spake, “What do you wish from me?”

Eternal life, said I

Ah, I seecan you tread the internal flame till dusk?

I can!

truly you shall — partake thee of my flesh!

She began to unmask  my pain, 

exposing the inflammation.

leaping from my mouth as fire!

A bright arterial red, 

followed by continual yellow flames.

My mouth stretched wide, her hand in the deep of my stomach, she clinched and yanked upwards repeatedly with great force, expelling all that was foul. 

More pain than I could bear. I pleaded, oh mercy,  did I cry,  but she purged on – with firmness she commanded, “there is no returning now, you have delighted in the forbidden. From your mouth you defiled, from your mouth you will purge, shhh – hush now, the hours are short, I must continue till my work is complete!” 

For 9 hours did we wrestle… 

Without warning – to the pit was I thrust,  until the number was complete 
and then I slept.

Some call her Nirvana, others say Heaven, I call her Usha.

by K. Osei

Sweet Jesus

sweet Jesus, bitter vine
blessed savior 
poverty and crime.
wonderful suffering
love divine,
pestilence and innocence 
all entwined. 

worshipers weeping  
“set me free,”
Oh precious blood
of bourgeoisie,
children slumbering
in poverty.

meager amenities  
i can’t afford,
nerver-the-less
i praise the lord.

how much longer
for your return?
if i wander 
will i burn?

aries be the ram
hiding in the bush, 
I am, that I am
Oh son of kush

by K. Osei

The Smile

FI-HANKRA

Black humid nights sticking to my skin, street lights illuminate the hazy air, a pot hole I didn’t see.  Black art – graffiti decorate the steel gray curtains that protect the trinkets in the corner store at 4th and Rhode Island.

The little Arab man sits the sealed glass booth across the street, pushing petro beneath the British sun—quietly he sells the assistance they need to roll and blow. 

Ambient noise surrounded by silence, glazed eyes, like deer, like zombies pierce the window of every passing vehicle—focused. Empty space full of plight, of black, of despair.  A war on hope, on hugs, ambition on drugs. Peeking through the blinds from above, observing, listening to the street babble, seeing but not seen, like leery prey perched in the jungle trees shielded by darkness.  A scream, a moan, a flashing light, there’s blood in the street—on my hands, my shirt—oozing from her nostrils, draining from her ears. A bleeding stone on the pavement next to her head, and a small dent, a breach, just above the left temple. A glazed gaze, a desperate stare, her eyes fixed upon my face as I push—quietly chanting the rescue mantra, 1 and 2 and 3…, unconcious-ly, we both know it’s time, a fading frown greets the other side. I continue pushing protocol against the obvious, the odds, against the reality of blackness, 329 and counting. So young—whose daughter, sister, mother—who’s next? They lift her body into the red and white box with the spinning light and asclepius fades into the night. 

The street sweeper comes just before dawn,  just before work.  Traffic flows and never they know, how humid was the night. 

Twenty-three calls — fire in the sky, struggling to breath, black smoke choking my thoughts, I can’t see, temperature’s rising, got-damnit, somebody please vent the fucking roof! 

Stripped down, trying to remove the carbon residue and grime that clogs my pores—thick soot tinged mucus, mixed with a hint of gore, erupts from my lungs when I cough on to the shower floor and oozes down the trough. I manipulate the shower head in a circular motion, have to wash it down, have to get clean. Close my eyes as the lukewarm water sanitize my mind, envisioning the water falls of Trinidad—I was there once, standing on the black shiny rocks under the cliff, the waters of heaven flowed down upon my head — mmm, it felt good, I was clean then

Fatigued — sitting in the dark, slumped over and dripping. Dark spaces, black faces between my thoughts. So many images etched in my mind but this one, her face, had an eerie familiarity. 

Dried and dressed, my gear bag slung over the right shoulder. A silent morning. Talking seems out of place — quietly moving through the station. I nod, good morning, to Dave as I walk through the parking lot, to my car, thinking, I’ve got to get home. He nods back, no words are exchanged — none are needed.   

It’s 6:00 am, moving  against traffic on my way home, the people are rising with the sun—with hope. 

Pulling into my driveway I notice how green the cone shaped Leland cypress in the front yard are, grass perfectly edged, the ancient twisted limbs of the Japanese maple. The colorful arrangement of the flower bed. A moment to gather myself and listen to the morning birds converse. Slowly placing my key in the door, I enter and behold—the smile, the face of angels — but never a word about how humid was the night. 

by K. Osei